Let’s face it, you can’t make friends with your ex. They aren’t called “ex” for no reason, and there are various things you will be risking once you engage in a friendly relationship with someone you were romantically linked before.
While some are open to the idea of being friends with their exes, there are 5 good reasons why you shouldn’t be friends with your exes, let alone in a “BFF” level.
You might hook up again
The drift must come from something serious that you decide to call it quits. This alone is a signal why you shouldn’t be friends with someone who didn’t treat you right or someone you had issues with. If ever you’ve settled things before you part ways, never forget what your ex did but leave no bitterness in your system.
Having a new relationship can get tough
There are plenty of fishes in the sea, but you sure wouldn’t want to get along with someone who might make you feel insecure if you’d be in a relationship. If you’re single and ready to mingle, you want to meet someone who doesn’t have an “excess baggage” from the past. In order for a relationship to mature, couples must have security from their partners.
You can’t point out clear boundaries
If you had years together with your ex, they may have known 90% of who you are and what you are. You shared things together, did things together, and had the same opinions or conflicts in a lot of things. If you’d be friends with them, you may end up thinking this: “You saw me naked, I saw you naked, and now we’re drinking soda while talking about how the weather is like.” No thanks.
It’s hard to set a boundary for someone who knew you too well. There are things that you don’t want your typical friend to know, and this wouldn’t be possible if your friend is someone whom you had a relationship with.
You can’t be yourself if you’d hang out with your ex as a friend
When you’re with your friends, you become the person you aren’t when you’re alone. Perhaps, you may laugh louder and sillier. Can you be like this if you’re ex is around? Most probably not. You will never look at your ex the same way again, and same goes to him or her. Acting the way you used to when your ex is around is near impossible, and you don’t want such inconvenience when you’re with your other friends.
Moving on can be extra difficult
Any kind of break-up is hard especially if you’ve shared a lot of things with your ex. It’s even harder if you’ll continue seeing each other, minus the romance factor. Feelings won’t fade easily, and for you to get over the pain, the “no contact” rule always works.
To start things afresh, avoiding the things that can make you remember all the memories works most of the time including not talking to your ex for the time being.
Although you have all the right reasons not to be friends, there are some instances that call for a civil (if not friendly) connection with your ex such as having a kid with them. In terms of child rearing, you can dismiss all those reasons and think about the welfare of your children first before your issues.
Aside from such excuse, setting a clear boundary and saying no to the friendship zone that your ex offers would be the best thing you can do for yourself and for your future relationship.